Topshop Utilitarian + a brief introduction to the philosophy of Utilitarianism

First the polish. Worst pictures EVER. It looks gritty (it isn't), it looks very dark (it isn't). The bottle shows it properly. It's a lovely polish IRL.

2 coats. One might do it. I tried so desperately hard to get an accurate photo but cannot explain what went wrong. Familiar Topshop quality.

Now on to the much more interesting meat after the disappointing hors d'oeuvre.

Utilitarianism 

This fascinated me as a teenager when I read an article (Sunday supplement, I think) about Jeremy Bentham. He died in 1832 and left his body to medical science. In the 60s or 70s his head was still on display in one of the London University colleges and there was a picture of it which both intrigued and disgusted me. Being a typical teenager with an interest in the macabre and radical thought I was hugely interested. Bentham advocated sexual equality and the liberalisation of laws against homosexuals amongst other things. Good egg.

This is NOT the real head which is now safely locked away as it became the target for student pranks (yuk!) but I believe that the skeleton stuffed with straw does remain the basis of the body.

Utilitarianism is swiftly described as ".. the greatest good for the greatest number.." Now read on!

This means that all acts require "Felicific calculus" to achieve "the greatest pleasure for the greatest number." Therefore there are definite rules and codes as to what the person must do in each situation to benefit the most people. The hedonic calculus is what Bentham thought all people must do before deciding the utility of the certain act in question. It is dependent on:

• Its intensity.
• Its duration.
• Its certainty or uncertainty.
• Its propinquity, or remoteness.
• Its fecundity, or the chance it has of being followed by similar sensations: that is, pleasures, if it is pleasure: pains, if it is pain.
• Its purity, or the chance it has of not being followed by, sensations of the opposite kind: that is, pain, if it is pleasure: pleasure, if it is pain.
• Its extent (the number of people who are affected by it).

Hedonic calculus? It sounds so good, no? The text in italics is from wiki.

It's one way to determine your actions and not a bad one at that. Discuss.

Jenni

Topshop Silver Bullet + general Topshop observations + many thanks for your tape-method assistance

A straightupanddown silver chrome.
Excellent quality. One coat would do (I did two though) and it went on very easily.
I didn't know it was a chrome as I bought it in a set for the sake of Gypsy Night. I tend not to go for chromes as they look a bit manky on ridged nails but this is a peach.

I have a few Topshop polishes and they are excellent quality and they do well-funky colours.

Topshop
1. Why is it one word and not two? Just marginally irritating.
2.  They are doing free P&P until Tuesday.
3.  I ordered this from the new collection. Plus 2 other things. Including one item for the next giveaway. Not telling btw.

4. This is the set I bought which includes Bullet and Gypsy. In general their photos are informative but this little set not so much. Luckily Gypsy Night is stonkingly fabulous, Bullet is really good and so is the third! But nul points for the picture which I magnified HUGELY.

5. I do Topshop buying online. I'm not sure if they existed when I was a teenager. Probably not as it was in the days of Methuselah. Naturally I wouldn't set foot in the actual shop for fear of frightening the youthful clientele. Just wanted to reassure you that although I have a mutton dressed as lamb natty way with my appearance I won't be lowering the tone in Topshop.

Are there any shops you avoid? Because you think they are too young or too OLD for you? Too exclusive/expensive or too down-market?

Jenni

Using sticky tape - got it taped?!

Well, I tried the tape method (again) and the results weren't great.
This is my 2 hands together. I never have them the same.

The blue is Nails Inc Duke St with Barielle Falling Star. But the Barielle is too thick and I didn't work AWAY from the tape so the line ended up not being crisp.

The other hand is Rimmel Scene Stealer with The Edge Egyptian Gold. The contrast isn't strong enough but I'm happy enough with the neatness of application.

The Barry M Nail Effects covers the mess.

• Colour choices - 2 blues/poor - 2 golds/OK
• Formula choices - Falling Star too thick
• Working method - should have worked away from the tape rather than towards it as this leads to a build-up of polish against the tape which is unsightly
• Spacing - should have had larger areas on the blue but was rushing and already had strips of tape adhering to the other fingers so slightly hampered in my task

Are you a straight 'paint the nail' kind of woman? Or like to experiment with decals and stones and stamping and all that razzmatazz?

Jenni

Rimmel Play Fast Scene Stealer

Mashed my middle finger on a kitchen cupboard. I am clumsier than a hippo at a hog-roast.

As part of a recent cheapo purchase (is there any other kind?) I got this and Rimmel Cafe au Lait (part of the French Manicure range).  Really French manicures and I don't inhabit the same space-time continuum - or even ones that are a few shifts to the left - but I bought it for what seemed like a good reason at the time.

The Cafe au Lait was the base with SS on top. I love the SS. It's the first Play Fast polish I have and I am looking for best-price on the funky blue and purple and orange ones now. Ebay seems the best bet.

Lots of coats except on the mashed-up middle finger. Look at the pureeeetty bottle. This is way better IRL than it looks here.

I always used to despise Rimmel but I can't remember why. Their polishes are great and they make Diva Red which is one of the best red lipsticks you can get. Sorry, Rimmel.

Is there a brand for which you have an unreasoning dislike?

Jenni

Emilio Cavallini giraffe tights

The legs aren't worthy of a giraffe. I'd be more of a hippo if my soul were to be transmigrated into an appropriate African animal receptacle.

At least the shoes aren't muddy this time. Oh, and I bet hippos have loads more fun than giraffes.

On the subject of tights look at this UK designer. Tiffany Quinn. Just look at the image. The model does not have improbably long legs. She looks like she might be almost human. Almost.

Check out her stuff on uk tights. And they are made in the UK!! I am just waiting for the end of the month and I am going to get some. Reptile, Argyle, Pearl Spiral, Blue Hollywood. And then some...

If you DO go on uk tights PLEASE tell me if you like any of her designs. I'd hazard a guess that they may not be for absolutely everyone so let me know about that too, if you would be so kind.

Jen

OCC Lip Tar Anime - £8 WELL spent - + a bloomin' good website

This is a Lip Tar tutorial - if I may be so bold. These are SO worth buying but they do need careful handling. These are from Love MakeUp and currently at £8. Put it like this - if you like lipstick with more than 2 atoms of your being you need these.

http://www.love-makeup.co.uk/

This is almost colour-accurate. It's probably a tad brighter IRL.

Now this is how it begins.

1.

See the little blob? That's too much. That was there when I removed the cap. Do not squeeze the tube. REPEAT. Do NOT! Don't just casually handle these. Take care.



2.

They sent me a free mixing palette! Cool. That's still too much product. I intended to mix the Anime with another Lip Tar but the blob was too big a blob so I felt I had to try to use it and it gives a 'pure' swatch anyway...Combining will come later.

3.

Apply from the centre. If you start with the outer line it will feather. Put the bulk of the product at the centre to prevent this.

4.

That's what is LEFT! Pity my brush is too big for the allocated area..So I will leave that on the assumption that it will remain tacky and workable and use it will another shade next time!

I have 5 others and I can't see me stopping there. I believe professionals use these and may invest in the full library. Worth every penny of the 800 pennies I paid.

Lip Tars?

• Don't float my boat not no how not no way
• I'll think about it maybe
• Yeah, but too expensive
• Definitely on my list
• You only have 6?! I have 16!!! Call yourself a fan?!

Jenni

Nails Inc Duke St - 24 Euros for a nail polish and a box and a bit of tat?!

OK, I didn't pay the price on the box. Far from it. But who pays that kind of money? Maybe nobody did which is why it's on sale for £6.95...Talk about ripping people off!

First the polish info. Lovely blue-grey creme. 2 coats. Nice enough. Excellent formula.

It's a leeeeeeettle bit less blue IRL.

Next the outrage. I bought a load of stuff. This polish however was in its own box. Hubris or what? Its own box?! The box clearly states 24 Euros. For 1 polish in a plastic tray and a 'phone charm' in a box. What's charming about it I simply don't know. You have to laugh at the audacity of a company that charges astronomical amounts for a handful of beans (Jack and the Beanstalk allusion). Of course I'm not really outraged - more astonished that some people (I pray it wasn't any of YOU) would dream of paying 24 Euros (£20.06) for such a thing.

See! I didn't lie. It says quite clearly 24 Euros.

I'm slightly ashamed I paid what I did, let alone twenty quid! But it was part of a bargain buy and the rest were cheap-as-chips so I'm not too guilt-ridden by it.

OK, what d'you reckon is a fair price for a Nails Inc polish with a *ahem* charm?

Jenni

Aristoc tights

A friend, knowing that I am fond of them, always gives me tights. Marvellous. I believe she gets them from TK Maxx. Again - excellent. I don't need them to be full price. I just need them to be patterned or highly coloured.

(Oh, no! I just grabbed these shoes out of the cupboard and realised they are muddy. I was wearing flats today for work.)

My legs look a bit odd as a result of the camera angle. I normally do shots like this in one of the only 2 mirrors we have in the house. But I asked the wife to take the pic this afternoon (much to her bewilderment) and didn't like to keep badgering until I got a shot I could really live with so this will have to do. I really like these tights. Well done, Pamela (friend)!

The reason I have so many tights is that I always wear shorts. Trousers are too long and flappy and get mud-spattered. Skirts? Well, I tend to favour indecently short ones that aren't appropriate for a chalk-pusher. So shorts are the answer.

These are the ones I really want but the wife says they are too snakeskin and she has a complete screaming heebie-jeebie phobia of snakes so that's a no-go. They are Emilio Cavallini which is a brand John Lewis stocks. These are on ebay though......Maybe I should get them to wear when she's working away?

Phobias? Dare you share?

Jenni

Illamasqua Ruthless + red cremes

Got this with a lipstick for a good price on asos.

Btw this is emphatically not a Valentine's mani. I acknowledge Christmas and Easter and that's about it. Hallmark and all the other card companies can take a running jump. If you can only be loving/thoughtful/considerate one day of the year (after a great deal of hinting etc) then you're not the woman for me! Not that I'm looking anyway.

This photo is taken on day 3. Three coats. Excellent quality.

A red creme is a red creme. I don't have many because what's the point of THAT then? These are the ones I DO have. I'm quite impressed that I don't have many similar polishes in my collection. I do try not to duplicate things.

Nails Inc The Hurlingham (untried) - veering orange?
Cover Girl Candy Apple - my first! really good
Illamasqua Brigitte - lovely jelly finish
Illamasqua Ruthless - see above (bit on the blue side?)
CG Phat Santa - also good, the darkest

It's hard to formulate a poor quality red creme. It's one shade that seems to be fairly foolproof.
Tbh the Nails Inc and the CG were in sets and I wouldn't have bought them separately. I wanted the others in the set.
The CG was in a set too with a sparkle topcoat. For me the CG was fine as my solitary red creme. But I'm getting a bit of an Illamasqua obsession so I will buy stuff I find on sale whether I need it or not. Foolish woman!

Why do we do stupid things whilst knowing full well that we should not?

Examples

• continue to buy nail polish we neither need nor can afford
• persist with partners whom we no longer love nor respect (could be just me and it was a few years ago)
• eat foods that we know will make us fatter and less healthy
• drink to excess when we know we are very likely to have a sore head or do something desperately embarrassing
• the list goes on...

People are odd.

Jenni

Topshop Gypsy Night

1 of a set of 3 x 6 ml bottles. But I must have immediate emergency back-up. Express delivery. US cavalry. Military outriders. Presidential escort. (Don't know why I've gone all gung-ho Bruce Willis meets John Wayne all of a sudden but this polish is HUGE.) The other 2 polishes are probably lovely too btw.

3 coats. Is it brown or black or olive-brown? Don't care. Is the glitter brilliantly integrated? Yes. Are there flakies in there? Could be.

A bit too much of the ol' flash but those look like flakies to me.

Women of Britain, buy this polish. Swatch it on your lovely nails. And get some blinding pictures posted. Thank you.

Jenni